Content Warning: The source material in this section contains depictions of infertility issues and disordered eating.

Kerry Washington frames her narrative through swimming, noting the muffled nature of sounds one hears underwater and the distorted images one sees when looking up at the water’s surface as analogies for the things that one faces growing up that lack clarity and then finding one’s own clarity. The memoir emphasizes that water and swimming are important to Kerry, but her return to being underwater at the end of the memoir is a reminder that the water holds great meaning relating to her journey of discovery about herself and her family. Being under the water symbolizes a place where she can hear herself think, but looking up at the surface is an apt description of how “that muted state of reality is what life has always felt like to me” (309). She always felt that something was not clicking in her life, and learning her family’s secret allowed her to focus more on herself and her identity. In addition, she notes how her middle name, Marisa, means “of the sea” and feels the most connected to this part of her name.