A major theme of the novel is Tyler’s struggles as he approaches adulthood. His past experiences have left him insecure, though his physical appearance makes him popular and strong. As he learns to navigate high school with his new physique and persona, he seeks positive role models to guide him. At home, Tyler butts heads with his father, though he would appreciate any kind word from Bill. In many ways, Tyler and Bill’s relationship is a classic struggle between father and son, as the younger man comes into his own and embarks on adulthood. Bill lectures Tyler about his choices but does little in the way of setting a positive example. Instead, Tyler accepts support and guidance from other adult men, like Joe the janitor; Mr. Salvatore; his boss, Mr. Pirelli; and his probation officer, Mr. Benson.

Death is a persistent theme in the novel, with Tyler often retreating to thoughts of death and/or suicide to calm himself. Death becomes the ultimate escape hatch, what Tyler can fantasize about if his insecurities become too intense. Death is also a form of punishment for embarrassing behavior. In adolescence, humiliation cannot be laughed off; it is a social calamity and, therefore, death is preferable.