Where is the Mango Princess?

Cathy Crimmins’s medical memoir, Where is the Mango Princess? A Journey Back from Brain Injury (2000), is an account of what happened when Crimmins’s husband suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI), and how she learned to cope with the loss of the person she once knew. Winner of the 2001 ASJA Outstanding Book Award for General Nonfiction, critics praise Crimmins for blending humor, personality, and raw emotion in her writing. An award-winning writer best known for her social satire, Crimmins is also an advocate for families living with TBIs.

Through her family’s story, Crimmins explores what it is like to care for someone with a TBI. She describes her family’s journey, from the accident itself to her experiences with healthcare and rehabilitation services. She hopes to help caregivers and professionals understand how to best support families of TBI survivors and to give TBI families tips on how to move forward with their loved one.

Crimmins begins by explaining what happened. Her husband, Alan, suffered a TBI in 1996. Before the accident, he was a fun-loving, outgoing, adventurous man. He had a background in banking and law, and he was extremely bright and attentive. He loved learning new things, and he had a passion for odd Japanese movies. Most of all, Alan was a deep, thinking man who knew how to do everything right.



One day, the couple wins a holiday to Bob’s Lake in Kingston, Ontario. They plan to show their daughter, seven-year-old Kelly, the great outdoors. However, when they get to Bob’s Lake, they realize it is an isolated place without much to do. Not knowing how to keep Kelly entertained, they consider heading home early.

On the final day of the trip, as Alan drives a small boat back to the dock, a teenager in a speedboat crashes into him, driving over Alan and severely damaging his brain. Seeing the whole thing unfold, Crimmins will never forget how traumatic it was. She recalls how, at that precise moment, she knew her life had changed forever.

Emergency services airlift Alan to Kingston General Hospital. Alan falls into a coma; he has serious frontal lobe damage. Despite Crimmins’s best efforts to find out more about Alan’s condition, the doctors can’t tell her anything yet. All they know is that he needs all the support around him that he can get.



Once Alan’s condition stabilizes, the doctors plan to airlift him to the Hospital of the University of Philadelphia, which is near where the family stays. However, at first, the family’s insurance company refuses to pay for the ambulance. They don’t want to pay out for the accident, and they refuse to take any responsibility for his rehabilitative care.

Crimmins describes the long battle she faced against the insurance company, and how this added stress is the last thing any family needs when they are dealing with a TBI. Arguing for immediate sector reform, she explains how US health insurers don’t do anywhere near enough to support traumatic injury survivors.

Although Crimmins dedicates chapters to criticizing the US health insurance system, the book is mainly about the realities of living with a TBI. When Alan wakes up from his coma and slowly begins to walk and talk again, it is clear that he will never be the same. Crimmins admits that, for a long time, she wasn’t sure she could look after him. Watching the man she had fallen in love with behaving like a very different person took its toll on her emotionally, and she relied heavily on her family for support.



Crimmins describes Alan’s behavior in the weeks and months after the accident. Due to the frontal lobe damage, Alan lost his inhibitions. He couldn’t understand right from wrong. His extreme behavior ranged from shouting at everyone to exposing himself in public. Although part of Alan knew that the behavior wasn’t okay, he couldn’t help himself. This led to feelings of frustration, anger, and self-loathing.

Alan’s behavior went from bad to worse. Crimmins says he reminded her of a child who couldn’t control his emotions. He didn’t know how to socialize with anyone, and he threw tantrums at the smallest inconveniences. He stopped watching Japanese movies, turning to cartoons instead.

Although Crimmins found the “New Alan” difficult, Kelly suffered badly. Her “new” father terrified her. She didn’t recognize him anymore. He shouted at her all the time, and he blamed her for the accident. For a long time, Crimmins had no idea how to support Kelly or Alan, and she felt overwhelmed by her new situation.



Now, Crimmins explains, Alan has mostly recovered from his TBI. Although he won’t ever fully heal, he works part-time and has new hobbies. He knows how to handle himself in social situations, and he is optimistic about the future. Crimmins notes that she has no choice but to stay positive. She doesn’t know what the future holds for their marriage, but she is willing to find out.