Palmer LaRue does “not want to be a wringer” (3). A wringer literally wrings the necks of injured pigeons during the Family Fest, and Palmer has known for a long time that he could never be one. But as his ninth birthday approaches, he knows he’s one year closer to making that choice.

It’s Palmer’s ninth birthday, and he’s ecstatic when he realizes that the neighborhood boys—Beans, Mutto, and Henry—showed up at his house to celebrate. Palmer’s mother isn’t as happy because she thinks of the boys as naughty and rude. Palmer opens his presents from the boys and finds that they each got him something disgusting, like “an ancient cigar butt” (8) and an old sock. Rather than being grossed out, Palmer appreciates that they cared enough to bring him anything at all. He’s also thrilled because they nickname him Snots, which shows that he’s really part of the group.

After eating cake and ice cream, Palmer’s mother shoos the boys out of the house. Beans, the ring leader, wonders where “Fishface’s house” is located (12). Palmer is hesitant to say because Beans is derogatorily referencing his former close friend Dorothy Gruzik. Beans leaves mud on her door, and they all run off.